Cake for Breakfast

We had a lovely Shabbat dinner last night with Grandma, Brian, Jen, and M and K. I had to work all day, so everyone got together to make a wonderful meal, including excellent salmon by Uncle Brian, yummy green beans and salad by M and K, and of course Scoot's amazing challah. We also ordered one of my favorite cakes from Hoffman's Bakery in Kirkland: the Princess Torte. I know, it's named after me! It's also quite delicious and the flavor friend J used as inspiration for our wedding cake (well, one of the flavors, anyway). And, I did indeed have some for breakfast this morning. K took some photos, which we can only hope will show up on M and K's blog soon! That is, if we are cool enough to make the cut.

Zachary is having a great visit with Grandma and Brian and Jen. Grandma has a knack for getting Zachary to scream with laughter (much like Uncle Josh) by making silly faces and noises! He was a bit angry during nap time today, and when I peeked in at him, he was arching his back so much that I thought he would roll over onto his tummy...but he didn't. His new favorite place to nap is in the center of Mommy and Daddy's bed (after a snack, of course). He leaves a tiny Zachary-shaped imprint which makes us happy come our own bedtime.

Rollover Plan

The Selfon brothers both reached milestones in the last twenty four hours -- one auspicious, the other perhaps a bit less so.

First, the big news -- Zachary has officially rolled from his front to his back! Meh got him to accomplish this feat last night (day 138) by waving a colorful remote control in front of him, then gradually moving it over his head. As he followed it with his eyes and head, he eventually tilted and then tipped over onto his back. She called me inside (from another fruitless round of leaf raking and bagging) and Zachary was able to reproduce the flip for me. Then we attempted to make a video recording, and the results were, er, a little less definitive. But honest, it did happen - twice!

Zachary's grasping is also getting more sophisticated; today while mommy was reading to him, he started grabbing board book pages. With some encouragement, he even starting flipping them. Granted, he was flipping them backwards (and with the left hand no less), but it's a start. We'll have to work on reading more of the Hebrew board books while he's on this right-to-left kick.

Meanwhile, Korby has apparently reached the ultimate expression of his one great skill: Houdini-ing himself out of our yard. I've continually patched a variety of sections of our gradually failing encircling fence, but today he found yet another mysterious hidden portal to the outer world. Usually, this portal has just led to the neighbor's fully fenced yard, so he's still contained, and within a few feet of us and our porous border. But a few times in the last month, he's somehow found an exit from that fenced yard. (Incidentally, I've walked the full perimeters of both fences at this point and can't figure out where he's getting through.) With the tremendous help of fellow dog owners in the area, I've usually found him soon afterwards -- his favorite haunts are the junior high school track and the spacious park down the road from us.

But this morning, at 8:30 am, he was gone once more - and multiple circlings by car and foot of our neighborhood, the park, the junior high, and surrounding area were unsuccessful. 90 minutes of ever-widening searches later (again, featuring some very helpful fellow dog owners), we thankfully received a phone call that someone had retrieved him and was holding him. Korby had travelled more than two miles as the crow flies -- which likely means five or more miles as the Korby roams. Thankfully, he hadn't crossed any major streets, but still, we think it's likely time to just give up and invest in a tree-wrapped leash for him.

Zachary and the Sunshine Band

Who needs contemporary music? That great disco hit, "Shake Your Booty," from the *cough* year that I was born, is Zachary's clear favorite - Meh has made it a runaway hit with him. Any time Zachary's unhappy, it cheers him up. Any time he's already happy, he may just explode with a giant smile, laughter, kicking, and yes, shaking of said booty. Shaking of an object while singing (the Zachary-appropriate lyrics are actually "Shake your rattle") is seemingly optional, though his plastic fish rattle is the most preferred implement if you have to shake something (besides your own booty). Oh, and he does seem to prefer if you sing the accompanimental bits. (e.g. "Shake shake shake, dih-doo, dih-doo-doo...")

Today I used the song on multiple occasions: to defuse clothes-changing fussiness; to entertain him when he was getting bored of reading (a fabulous out-of-print Richard Scarry book, mind you); when he got mad about getting ready to go in the car for our visit to mommy at work; and to demonstrate to grandma via video conference just how well that darn tune works for him.

He was incidentally spectacularly giggly this evening. He later reenacted his performance for mommy with even more laughter. I made a recording, but his hysterical sounds are so close to screaming that I think we'll withhold it until a video recording can help explain that he's actually just really happy.

Zachary appears to be quite musical already; he definitely recognizes the Naked Baffy Time theme song (which lands him with a giant smile). And we've discussed his love of his world music CD (which thankfully we are not tiring of either, though Meh and I both veto a track or two) and uncle Brian's superb Laurie Berkner mix. What's more impressive is that if I sing or hum notes from any of these tunes, he immediately appears to recognize them, smile, and get all kicky. He seems to have less reaction to my own song for him, so that one may end up on the cutting room floor. Tough crowd!

Three times a baby

The last three days have been wonderful though absolutely exhausting - again, that Meh has kept up this energy level for four months is simply amazing and I feel bad that I wasn't doing extended watching of Zachary more often. Zachary and I have taken walks with Korby; attended a "gigglers" parent-child class/holiday party (another dad was there for a few minutes, but before I could say hi, he had to skip out for work; the moms and course instructor seemed happy to get the 'guy' point of view and thanked me for coming); gone shopping; visited mommy daily; and today we even got the oil changed (a proper "manly" activity if there ever were any). I know Meh has missed him terribly, and is looking forward to her day off with him tomorrow - it'll be my turn to miss him during the day.

Zachary is so fun to play with, and he's discovering new skills every day. Yesterday we spent a little time in the exersaucer. (Don't worry, it was just a few minutes -- as with everything else, it's apparently considered detrimental to a baby's development. I seriously think doctors want us locking our kids in padded cells for their first 18 years.) It's got a bunch of activity-type things, and he'd been doing great at grabbing and playing with the various items.

The exersaucer has a little 'control panel' thing with three buttons and graspable plastic "book" pages. Zachary inadvertently hit the buttons from time to time previously, but yesterday he was watching me, so I hit a button. He looked at it, and then hit it himself (after a few misses). His eyes got all wide, and he spent the next few minutes hitting all of the buttons. I tried to do the same with the book 'pages', showing how they turn and make a happy noise. He didn't imitate that immediately, but while my attention was elsewhere, he apparently got the idea - the book was on a different 'page' when I looked back at it. Today he was hitting the buttons with much more consistency and accuracy, and smiling all along. Go Zachary!

Watch out, they spit

We've already discussed Zachary's raspberrying, which is incidentally now back in vogue after a few days absence. He's also starting to mimic/respond to our own pfft'ing, which is definitely an exciting development - our first 'conversations'. Why do I fear our conversations may eventually degrade back down to this stage in the teenage years? :)

A quick funny story - he and I went to see our favorite Microsoft a cappella group (yes, there actually is more than one) perform last night (at a local library nonetheless, after visiting mommy at her library earlier in the day - Zachary was inadvertently taking a tour of the county's regional libraries!). He was absolutely great, really happy and kicking, and totally quiet and open-mouthed the whole time. Except right after the group announced they were going to be singing their last piece, when he made a loud raspberry that had a few folks around us chuckling.

But no, today, I am going to focus on the other kind of spitting -- spitting up. No matter the time of day, whether he's just eaten five minutes ago or several hours before, we are not safe from spit up. It's ended up in some obvious and less likely places: himself, his clothes, our clothes (his skill at targetting mommy while he himself remains spotless is impressive), the couch, the floor, the changing table, his play mat, the wall, and most recently my hair. You see, I was trying out the whole Zachary-sitting-on-my-shoulders thing, and we were having a great time, and then I saw in the mirror that he had a large smile on his face. Uh-oh. The big smile often means he's feeling great because he's just spit up. I felt my head, and sure enough, I was toweling the stuff out of my hair for seemingly the next few hours. Other parents clearly have experience here; when I asked for advice from a friend in preparing for my first full day alone with Zachary, the friend replied to 'get a towel ready'. I got his e-mail message right after Zachary spit up on my shirt and pants.

Naked Baffy Time!

Bath time is arguably Zachary's happiest time of day (if you don't count dancing time, bouncing time, flying time, or "pffft" time). We tried to capture some of the joy on film. Here's take 1:



And here's take 2:



As we have seen before, Scoot has a thing about taking pictures of our baby naked. I was chastised for taking nude photos of Zachary that showed glimpses of his goods, when really I was just trying to capture his delectable tushy for posterity (no pun intended!). That is why Take 2 includes the crude loincloth. But I believe that it is customary to have naked baby material socked away in order to gently encourage your teen to obey his curfew ("I think this photo will be perfect for the graduation announcements!"), do his homework, eat his green vegetables, etc.

Lunch date

First off, I just have to mention that a friend has just vaulted to the top of the Scoot and Meh's most-famous friends pile. Look who's rubbing elbows with British royalty at a children's Hanukkah celebration! Alas, it's a small picture, but the woman at the back right of the photo is none other than good friend N. (I think the whole anonymizing of friends in blogs thing makes everyone sound like 007 supporting roles. Now if Q would just set me up with a rocket pack...) Mazal tov, N!

Today our friend I (wow, even more confusing) had graciously volunteered to babysit Zachary during the day so we could have a little lunch date - our first daytime activity away from him. Though our favorite place for proper afternoon tea (ah, a blog entry theme!) was booked solid, we figured we'd stop by anyway and see if they could squeeze us in. We actually ran into friend S and her mom L (honestly, I think we may run out of unique letters in this posting) on their way out, and S as well has spent a great deal of time watching and hanging out with Zachary. Our friends are so amazing, supportive, and caring!

Thankfully, when we got into the tea house, they were indeed able to make room for us to come and enjoy a lovely "afternoon tea" (aka a giant lunch, complete with sorbet, scones, crumpets, quiche, cookies, cupcakes, fruits, sandwiches with the crusts cut off, a giant array of fruits... and, oh yeah, a large pot of tea per person). It was really nice to spend some time alone together and just enjoy a calm and civilised lunch, though we of course occupied much of it talking about Zachary.

Afterwards, we stopped next door at a really fun children's toy shop that we like to check out when we're in the neighborhood. I hadn't realized before that this little boutique is quite the national shopping craze; they had a ton of FedEx packages all piled up inside, ready to be shipped to addresses across the country for holiday gifts. They always have the kinds of fun and appealing wood-carved toys (animals, design-savvy dollhouses as at right, foods [some with Velcro so you can 'cut' them or assemble 'sandwiches'], etc.) that make you believe that yes, wood can still defeat those fancy lead-leaching plastics for pure childhood enjoyment. Everything there is very cute, and of course extremely eco-/sustainability/world-economy conscious; new this time, every object was tagged with attractive labels indicating what combination they were of natural, organic, fairly traded, recycled, responsible, multi-use, etc. Did I mention the store even plants a tree for every $10 you spend there? Anyway, we found an alphabet book we liked that happened to be by a local artist -- because Zachary can certainly never have too many books. Alas, it was only about $9, so no tree was planted. And since it's a board book, its production likely involved clear cutting several acres of the rain forest, so we're still in the extreme carbon negative for the day. Anybody got carbon credits for sale?

Shave and a haircut

(Makes you appreciate just how good of a deal two bits would be; my haircut was free today, and it still cost quite a bit more than 25 cents just for the tip!)

At long last, about two months since my last haircut and more than a month since shaving, the hair came off today, at the barber in the morning and with the electric shaver in the evening. (Note to self: as with paint and cleaning products, best to try the shaver in an inconspicuous area first to see how it goes. My poor 10+ year-old electric had never seen such a workout, struggled throughout the process, and I think it was near meltdown by the end.)


We'll have to see if Zachary recognizes his daddy come morning...

Zachary's latest vocal exercise involves what Meh calls gargling, but what I think sounds cooler when termed alveolar trilling. Take a listen to him here.

I read through a fascinating book several months before Zachary about how all babies effectively learn (and then unlearn) all of the possible sounds of human language before honing in on their own. I know it's silly, but to try to encourage him to keep his options open (rather than struggling with things like daddy's issues with the trilled 'erre' sound in Spanish), I've been saying words to him with more exotic non-English sounds like 'perro' and 'Xhosa' (which starts with a clicking sound). He really loves the clicking sound for some reason, and it generally results in big open-mouthed smiles. I think he has also started clicking, though not predictably yet. We also of course listen to his world music CD, though those songs tend to consist of primarily English or Romance language lyrics.

Mommy's Day Out (at work)

'Twas the night before Meh's first day back and all through the night,
Little baby Zachary refused to sleep tight.
He groaned and he muttered, his belly it rumbled,
'Till at all hours from bed Mommy (and Daddy) tumbled.

Needless to say, we didn't get much sleep the night before last (or last night, for that matter). There were only a few tears (from me, not Zachary) when I left for my first day back at work, but once I got there I felt much better. There was a sweet "Welcome Back!" sign on my computer, nice notes, and new chocolate for the chocolate bucket (from friend and coworker L). I felt very welcomed, indeed, and had a great day back catching up on the new goings-on. I was very glad to see Zachary (and Scoot) when they visited, because I already missed the cuties.

The two things that marred the day were having to pump at work, and the horrendous migraine I developed as the day went on. Pumping at work made me miss Zachary even more; it was such a lonely and mechanical business. The headache made driving home very tedious, and I only had time to give Zachary "baffy time" (sans song) and nurse him to sleep before I was off to vomit (the high point of any migraine). After that, I felt better, and sat in bed looking at my Chanukah prezzie from Grandma, Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.

Just as an aside, when we were in Florida visiting Mima and Papa, Papa brought up how annoying my childhood migraines were. "We couldn't do anything because you always had a headache," Papa complained. Scoot asked if migraines afflicted women more than men. Well, to answer both (though Papa wasn't asking for one), migraines can be triggered in children (and adults, too) by any of several things including: Long gaps between food (duh), Stress, Excitement "as a result of looking forward to a special event (often these can be ruined because the child experiences a migraine)," etc. And, yes, women are more prone than men.

Just in case you were wondering.

SAHD state of affairs

(And yes, that is indeed an acroynm recognized by the prime resource on such matters.)

Happy end of Hanukkah, and a belated Happy Shanooyookah Day Seven! (Hebrew Hammer, anyone? I actually broke my yearly tradition of watching it this year. Though I'm sure it'll be on Comedy Central again in the coming days...)

Today was Meh's first day back at work. I took some of my way-too-much use-it-or-lose-it vacation time (hm, why does this sound like cellphone minutes?) and the three Selfon boys spent a full day together, for the first time without mommy. (Incidentally, I do feel bad on some levels that it took more than four months for me to do this, and that Meh did it so often alone. In this sole matter, I suppose bottle- and/or formula-feeding is the great equalizer. I've given Zachary bottles before, but without a constant and/or stockpiled supply, I was kind of dependent on the, um, source coming back fairly soon.)

We actually made a pretty full day of it, and the only snag (hopefully to be solved in the coming days) was Zachary's off-again on-again dislike of the bottle. (Yes, he's taken it cold and rejected it warm, so that's hopefully not the difficulty.) In the morning, we played and danced with Zachary's favorite world music CD before a brief nap. In the early afternoon, we headed in to mommy's work to visit and for a group (well, Zachary and mommy) lunch. Everyone at work was so happy to see (and in some cases, meet for the first time) Zachary, and he was similarly smiley and in a great mood. He even let me do a quick bit of online research before we headed back out to the car. Then we had a little shopping to do (and I hadn't eaten at all that day), so we made a stop where we could do both: Costco. (Hooray for the only kosher meat place [hot dogs] in Seattle. That's just sad.)

Zachary loves stores. I'm a little worried on some level that he's absorbing all of the marketing and branding and will someday hate any non-flashy material, like non-picture books. But for now, the bright lights, tall ceilings, nice degree of white noise, multi-colored products, and wide array of (often doting) people just make him all happy and kicky. He sat facing out in the bjorn while we shopped, and only got a little bored when we were standing in line to pay (and who doesn't?). He even graciously let me grab a hot dog and soda to go before we headed home.

In the afternoon, after another refreshing nap, he and I took the typically insane Korby for a nice walk. (Soon thereafter, Korby somehow grabbed a Costco muffin from the plastic-sealed container sitting on the middle of our dining room table. It was gone in ten seconds. Including the wrapper.) Zachary again was very happy and silently looking around, occasionally grabbing my finger with his hand as if to help me with Korby's leash. We played and danced a bit more when we got back, Zachary conked out, and that pretty much wrapped up our day. (Other than the aforementioned Zachary getting upset on most occasions when I offered him bottles.)

Being alone with Zachary is definitely challenging and exhausting (yes, we did have our first shared bathroom experience - TMI?), and I hopefully appreciate now more than ever what it's taken Meh to do this so incredibly for months while I so frequently left first thing in the morning for the office. She truly is the best mommy ever!

The tallest Selfon?

Zachary's 4-month checkup was this morning, and all was looking good. His doctor continues to present the exam (and discussion about milestones, progress, and development) mainly to Zachary himself, which we think is a lot of fun. ("You can now see 20 feet in front of you!") Everything was looking good and developing as expected, and he even actually braved the 4 shots admirably. The stats:

Weight: 16 lbs 5.5 oz (75-90th percentile)
Height: 26 1/4" (90th percentile)
Head circumference: 42 cm (50th percentile)

Meh and I had been making weight guesses, and Zachary basically split the difference in the end. (Or she'll tell you that Price is Right bidding was in effect, so since I overbid, I lose.) At least he isn't getting a big head about things, ba-dum-bum. Ouch, worst blog pun ever. Anyway, looking back at his last checkup, everything seems to indeed be staying at about the same percentiles on the graphs. The doctor presumed that the height was genetic and came from dad. Um, no, I was apparently always way below the chart. Therefore, we think mommy's family's genes may be kicking in here. Again, baby size doesn't reflect grown-up size, so who knows. But based on 6.25" growth in 4 months, if he can keep up this rate, he'll be nearly 30 feet tall on his 18th birthday. Nice.

This morning also marked the end of the shloshim period of mourning, which means I can now cut my hair and beard again. At least, whenever I can find the time. Incidentally, for those wondering about the final beard poll stats:

• Lose the beard: 5 (27%)
• Save the beard (but at least trim it for goodness sake): 10 (55%)
• What beard? That thing you've got barely looks like two days growth: 1 (5%)
• Go for a goatee: 1 (5%)
• Moustached Scoot: 0 (0%)
• Two words: Lamb chops: 1 (5%)

Bravo to the brave souls who voted for lamb chops and my self-deprecating joke. But hooray for nobody thinking a moustache is a good idea. As I'd said, the poll was mainly for fun; there's only one person whose vote really matters, and that's... Meh's. :-) Still, in this regard, I definitely agree with her. It's scruffy and itchy, and I keep seeing or feeling it peripherally at meals. I just hope Zachary still recognizes daddy when it's gone, not that I think he'll miss daddy's scratchy face. Several friends have recommended some form of time-lapse photography when the shaver comes out - I'll have to see what we can do about that.

Zachary: The Novelization

Last night, we had a few friends over to help celebrate Chanukah. Grown ups and children alike had a really good time, with food (latkes of course; sufganiyot due to some heroic last minute search-and-rescue efforts by our friends J & S; salmon; and excellent salad and dessert dishes brought by our guests), good friends, and of course the post-dinner typical dividing of the genders to carry on further conversations about, well, guy and girl things.

Earlier in the day, a box had been waiting outside of our front door. It was addressed to Zachary and came from Apple Inc. I figured that either they were starting their recruiting of him a bit early, or that some Mac-themed gift was awaiting Zachary. We waited to open it until we'd lit the candles, and we were then astonished to open one (well, actually four copies) of the most creative and amazing gifts that we've ever seen -- Zachary's very own customized book!

"Zachary the Elephant Saves Hanukkah" (Selphy Press, 2007; likely ranked far higher on Amazon than my CD) is an incredible tale of courage and strength, of willfull pride replaced by dignified humility, of dramatic gastric culinary adventues, and of counting the treacherous digits of one through eight. And did I mention the flaming saganaki? But in all seriousness, this is a wonderful wonderful gift, written by Uncle Brian, with illustrations, design, and production by some phenomenal friends of Uncle Brian, and with stunningly concise editing accomplished by Aunt Jennifer. The book was thoroughly enjoyed by all present, including several surprising and excellently cunning references to friends who happened to be in attendance and reading along with us. Thank you thank you thank you to Brian, Jen, and friends J, G, and S!

Oh, and for those wondering why this came in an Apple-branded box, this is apparently a feature of Apple's iLife software; it supports printing books, who knew?

Today Zachary is 4 months old - it's unbelievable how quickly time passes with a baby. He has his next big checkup on Monday, so start placing your bets now as to height, weight, doctor/lawyer potential, etc.

My way or the freeway

Another week, another flight. This time I was in Los Angeles for a good 36 hours, primarily for a really well-received game audio event I was helping organize. Of course, the flights in both directions were late. (I'm at the gate waiting for the return one, which is posted as "only" running 5 minutes late - we'll see. Heh, while writing this, it's just gotten pushed out another half hour. Good times.) Travel itineraries sometimes now include the type of plane and occasionally the flight's historic on-time information; I should have been worried when it showed the return flight as 0-10% on time. (Instead I just hoped they didn't have enough data or something.) On the flight here, it was several hours late. Looking at the terminal's departure list, I counted 5 other flights (from other airlines) going to the same location before this one would even board -- so I went back to the ticket counter, explained that I needed to make a meeting, and they generously rebooked me for no charge on another airline -- the one I almost always fly to Los Angeles. They wouldn't do it for me on the return though, so we wait and we blog.

While in LA, I got to meet up with a few friends who I hadn't seen in a while, including two new babies! Both are older than Zachary, and both are girls (yes, older woman, and no, I don't think we're going to start matchmaking quite yet). They were both super cute (one dances by raising one hand in the air and shaking her waist; the other wakes up totally happy and makes these tiny deep noises that are somewhat similar to Zachary's sleep noises), and so different from each other and Zachary. It's amazing how they're unique little people with their own behavior traits even so early in life.

Based on the relative locations of the airport, my event, and friends I was going to see, I made it a goal to avoid all LA freeways. I succeeded until the last possible car ride; I needed to get back to the airport from Studio City, and there was just no fast alternative. When the freeways (6, 7, 8+ lanes wide) are the slow route, you know something is wrong with your transportation system, and this is one thing that seems to get worse every time I visit. Even the surface streets were often a mess; I spent 25 minutes going 1 block en route to my event last night. But well worth any waits to get to attend successful events and see so many old friends!

Happy Chanukah to those who observe it! (Does anyone else find it ironic that there are all of these ad campaigns reminding us that "the holiday season is coming"? Isn't it already here if we're going to lump the always-moving Chanukah dates with Xmas and Kwanzaa?) Zachary, Meh, and I lit candles for the first night on Tuesday. And last night I happened to be driving past the Santa Monica Chabad's giant outdoor menorah (don't worry, electric candles) as they were lighting for the second night. I actually saw a ton of public menorahs all over Santa Monica. No such luck tonight though, as I'm at an airport, which we all know have tried their darndest to go holiday neutral - which means festive wreaths, ornaments, and chrysanthemums, but no menorahs that I could see.

I had to share this image another blogger took at an east coast PCC/Whole Foods-type high-end grocery market.

Yup, the store has apologized. And blamed their customer training. Ouch, hopefully nobody gets sacked for something this silly and laughter inducing. 'Tis the season, after all.

Let it snow...

Very quickly after discovering razzing, Zachary has advanced to more complex tones with these cute high-pitched squeals. I think the top of his singing range may be higher than Meh's. Listen to his first aria here.

Snowfall in Seattle is relatively rare (usually 2-3 times per season, and it doesn't stick), but this afternoon we started seeing the white stuff, and it's been getting heavier as the day has progressed. Korby of course treats snow as just another kind of food, so he goes outside, licks every possible surface, gets the doggie equivalent of brain freeze, and comes inside shivering for a bit until we can warm him back up. Silly dog.

Zachary has been enjoying the snowfall as well; he's been laughing, squeaking, and razzing all afternoon long. We took a few short videos with our camera; I'll try posting a few here, though we may move them to a more video-centric site at some point. (Any suggestions or recommendations?)

Say it, don't spray it

In the case of verbal development, apparently the "spray" part comes first. On Tuesday, Zachary figured out how to make raspberries, and he often loves doing nothing better now -- even sometimes at 4 or 5 in the morning. It's super cute though; doesn't matter of you're 3 months or 31 years old, farting noises are always fun. Of course this does mean that everything gets slimed, so thank goodness for heavy-duty bibs.

He still doesn't appear to make any direct connection to us doing it yet; no imitation or anything, though he does smile when he hears/sees us razzing, but here he is, in all of his spraying glory.

The beard has been garnering some serious discussion among friends and coworkers. Actually, I feel a bit bad, since some folks jokingly ask about it (one coworker asked if I was going for the Ewok look - should I be offended? :) and then I've got to tell them about the tradition behind the beard and wild hair during shloshim. But anyway, I've found it interesting that those who have facial hair (or have had it in the past) have been actively lobbying me to keep it. I'm not a big fan, but seeing as I missed the elections in early November, I figured I'd put it up for a vote -- look for your options to the right. Not that I'll necessarily abide by the results, but hey, considering it may be the last time my hair and beard get this long, might as well see what the consensus is.

Only 7 shopping days left...

(Granted, there are technically 15 until Chanukah ends.)

Now I know that everyone loves to listen to holiday music starting right after Thanksgiving (if not before), and particularly orchestral pieces, and more specifically all-new compositions that you can't even really sing along to. But what you were all really hoping for was a recording of the Prague Radio Symphony performing such Christmas music, preferably with a single Chanukah piece thrown in for variety. Well then, have I got the album for you – even better, it’s a double CD! Yes, 21 tracks of tastiness. And one of them (the strategically placed disc 1, track 4, Chanukah Glow) was composed by me.

Several years ago, I got somewhat annoyed with my community orchestra's sparse options for Chanukah music at their annual December "Holiday" (read: Christmas plus token Chanukah piece) Concert - they annually cycled between the same two or three pieces. The pieces themselves were okay (well, except for one in particular that kind of offended Meh, titled something like "Christmas Time Around the World", which was a medley of world Christmas music, and included a Chanukah song representing 'Israel'), but they were always pretty standard medley mashups of the same old tunes.

So I figured what the heck, did a bit of research, found some fascinating and less-known Chanukah folk songs and contemporary pieces, and put them together into a new piece I titled Chanukah Glow, which my orchestra graciously tried out and performed for it's 2005 Chris-, er, Holiday, concert. It was well received by the players and the 50-100 people that attend the community orchestra's concerts, but that was about it. Couldn't figure out how to get it published, or promoted to professional orchestras (who don't seem to generally play token Chanukah pieces at all!), or even professionally recorded. I figured that was the end of things.

Then earlier this year, I heard about an upcoming CD of new holiday music that had an open call for submissions. I put the score in the mail, and several weeks later heard that my piece had been accepted! The conductor was very friendly (and excited to be recording a Chanukah piece; the label's first holiday album was all Xmas), the piece was recorded by the Prague Radio Symphony Orchestra (SOČR) in the Czech Republic in May, and I got an e-mail today that it's now out and available! Look for "Holidays of the New Era: Volume 2" in stores or online venues near you.

• On Amazon here. (Where it's impressively ranked as a 164,000th-best-seller. The number actually keeps getting bigger as I write this blog entry. Should they even bother showing a ranking after, say, a few thousand?)
• On NuMusic (the publisher's website) here.
• Also available on Rhapsody, Napster, iTunes, and other online stores if you don't want to trudge through 2 CDs and 21 tracks just for my one little piece (though I'm sure based on what I've seen from this label in the past that the other pieces are excellent in their own rights). I won't be insulted if you bypass the stellar program notes and such. (Or you can even view them, as well as hearing the original community orchestra's recording on my website.)

And this concludes today's paid advertisement. Tomorrow: back to the cuteness of Zachary.

This flight is not yet rated

(Written on the second leg of our return flight -- Zachary's 8th flight overall, and likely his last for 2007.)

Today we took the long flight(s) back to Seattle from mima and papa's house. Zachary was amazing, sleeping the entire first leg, and spending most of the second leg asleep or happily smiling at the most random things (including, of all things, flight attendant announcements to sit back down for upcoming turbulence, and at times possibly in response to the sounds of a few other babies/small children on the flight having minor meltdowns along the way.) Incidentally, I was pretty impressed with all of the other babies on the second, 5 1/2 hour, flight; no major or constant tantrums. I think I most frequently heard the wails of a super cute red headed baby sitting up in first class. D'oh!

In my various travels, I've encountered plenty of different kinds of fellow passengers -- friendly, rude, celebratory, helpful, curious, moderately intoxicated, and of course asleep (whether pretend or for real). Often I end up sitting next to someone else from a related tech or entertainment industry (once I was next to the DP for Charlotte's Web, on his way to Sydney for some location scouting) - I guess that's the nature of flights to and from Seattle. But today's first leg featured, er, likely the most unusual (and perhaps most blatantly disregarding of usual etiquette) candidate from the "entertainment/tech" industries.

The flight was mostly full, though as I previously suspected, US Airways' regular coach seats were indeed far more generously spaced than United's non-Economy Plus. We again shared a row with a gentleman, but there definitely seemed like more room. I could at least retrieve our bags from under the seat without too much contorting. There was a initially an empty window seat in the row in front of us, but a woman sat down in it (in front of Zachary and Meh, and a seat off from me) right as the flight door closed. She immediately took out a large manilla envelope, and not at all discretely, pulled out and held up several large photographs that *cough* immediately tipped me off to her occupation.

Now I'm not one to judge, and I'm hopefully not that much of a prude; I've certainly seen other passengers around me say some inappropriate things, and watch some potentially inappropriate movies on their laptops and such, but I was not expecting to see large-format fashion shots of this lady in varying states of undress. Apparently she must be a nude/semi-nude model, and she decided to use the flight to work on her… demo reel? Portfolio? Home videos? The PowerMac came out even before takeoff, and she was opening and editing a bunch of photos in Photoshop (hey, at least she's somewhat tech savvy I guess?), then playing modelling videos of herself with the sound turned up. I honestly was trying not to watch; US Airways has a fun Cranium-branded trivia video that they run during their shorter flights, and that was keeping us entertained. But any time I glanced anywhere else, there was another bikini picture in my peripheral vision. I felt particularly bad for the guy sitting right next to her, and the other woman in her row who was occasionally holding a baby (that incidentally was otherwise sitting in first class - wow, several lucky babies on these flights!), and definitely happy that Meh and Zachary didn't have a view of this stuff. Privacy screen, anyone?

Our connection was through Charlotte. Top 3 random things about this airport:

1. White rocking chairs sitting in a long row in the main concourse. It's like you can be sitting out on your porch. Except you're indoors. In an airport. With lots of people with heavy luggage zipping by. Still, beats those tiny terminal waiting area seats.


2. The Cinnabon straight across from the aforementioned white chairs. Meh and I had to sample it of course. Yum.


3. Each bathroom at the airport is attended. As in, a person is waiting to offer towels, mints, soap, and conversation. Strange?

Anyway, a long second flight later, we arrived back home safe and sound, though Zachary reminded us once more of his dislike of car rides by crying most of the way home from the airport. Huge thanks to K and M for being our shuttle service, particularly when the parking structures I usually leave the car at ended up totally full when I called to confirm on the day we left. We had a wonderful time with mima and papa, but it's still good to be home. Now, off to sleep!

Zack's on the beach

Zachary has been having a lovely trip in sunny Florida! The weather has been fabulous, the company (mima, papa, uncle Josh, and a tasty brunch with great grandparents and cousins) has been excellent, the food always plentiful, and the outings have been simultaneously visually stimulating for him (antique fair, art show, and today the beach) and nice and relaxing for us.

Uncle Josh had Zachary in stitches today with a silly monkey imitation - Zachary kept throwing his head back and just laughing and laughing (see a picture of the evening show at the bottom of this post). Zachary also now likes being bounced on beds and ottomans (so long as there are happy noises accompanying the bounces), and giggles with each bounce.

The beach was lovely; mima and papa have an annual rental of these fancy dual covered chairs, which Zachary alternately layed out on or sat on my lap on while making mostly happy noises. We stayed mostly on the chairs to hide out from the bright sunshine (he also had his first experience with baby sunscreen, though we avoided painting the hands that so often end up in his mouth). But during one rare cloudy moment, we took him down to the beach (avoiding a small minefield of tiny man-o-wars) and he got to dip his feet in the ocean for the first time. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but seemed okay with the experience.

In the evening, we had a tasty thai/sushi dinner and then visited poppy and nanny. Zachary was a bit unhappy on the way there, but gave several happy laughs for poppy and smiled for nanny as well. The drive home was his last straw though, as he was very unhappy despite the entertaining sights and sounds of uncle Josh and mommy. But fear not, naked bathy time wrapped up his day on a happy note.

And boy are my arms tired

Zachary's first plane trip to a destination other than Michigan featured a little bit of everything, and felt somewhat like an epic film -- many hours long, and filled with drama, an unintentional plane stunt, unnecessary product placement, social class wars, several (under-)costume changes, and lots of cooing - both from him, the passengers, and the cabin crew.

We elected to fly on Thanksgiving to (theoretically) avoid some of the crazy crowds and, *ahem*, delays that we'd been hearing about earlier in the week. As there aren't any direct flights from Seattle to Palm Beach or Fort Lauderdale, this also marked Zachary's first multi-leg trip, with a stopover in Chicago (we'd been nervously eyeing all of the delays there from earlier in the week).

The first flight was the longer one, and when we'd checked in, we saw lots of empty seats, including the one next to our two. Of course, when we actually got on the plane, a gentleman sat down next to us. Here's where things got a little ridiculous -- the front 16 rows of the economy section of the plane were virtually empty, while the back 20 were nearly full. United has this strange concept of "Economy Plus", where you pay extra money for the front seats of the economy section, which claim to give you more legroom ("up to five inches!"). (It seems more likely that they just squeezed the space down for the remaining seats.) But the actual "service" on this part of the plane is identical; it isn't business class or anything. So as people from the back started trying to spread out into these seats, the cabin crew kept booting them out - I guess if other people are paying $30-$50 for the upgrade, they figure they'd rather have the seats empty than deal with a free-for-all? But thankfully, the guy sitting next to us slickly kept his head down enough to escape their detection, and a few other, er, morally ambiguous souls snuck forward as well, but it was pretty silly to watch the seats go mostly unused.

The flight itself was pretty uneventful; a weak film offering, Meh and Zachary took a nice nap, and I had a moderately awful first airborn diaper change. (Note to self: some lavatories in A320 aircraft apparently have no changing table.) He was cute, vocal, and mostly happy (except during the aforementioned change), and flight attendants and other passengers kept coming by to say hello. The only flight glitch was an apparent near miss during our landing sequence; one minute we were on final approach, and the next, the engines were firing back up to full and we were ascending to make another try. The guy sitting in front of me reported that he looked down and saw an airplane had been crossing our runway and didn't quite make it across -- the captain said similar a minute later. Not quite as scary as last week's near-miss incident (also at O'Hare), but it added another 20 minutes to the flight. Never a dull moment.

It felt like it had been a week since I'd been at O'Hare. My bad, it had actually only been six days. Anyway, despite the deja vu, this did give me an opportunity to show Meh that librarian ad in person, and of course grab a quick posed picture. (Sorry for the blurriness, this was in the fairly dark, trippy neon light tunnel between the B and C concourses -- which Zachary incidentally was totally entranced by.)

The second flight (Zachary's sixth overall) was unfortunately a bit more "interesting"; totally full (even those economy plus seats), but everyone got on board and ready to roll with time to spare. Then we sat and waited. Apparently, the lavatory system was backed up, and they spent about an hour trying to fix it (with all of us sitting on the plane), before pulling the plug and switching planes -- this involved having us deboard, walking halfway down the terminal, waiting for the new plane to be serviced, waiting for our flight crew to come over, reboarding, and eventually taking off. Impressively, only an hour late. We were also subject to United's somewhat weird "Ted" flight branding, which even the flight crew couldn't quite explain to passengers' inquiries.

Zachary didn't sleep at all this time around; the film was the same, we had a much more successful diaper change in a more fully equipped lav, and Zachary and I hung out in the back of the plane (dodging drink carts and bathroom-bound passengers) for a bit when he had been getting a little stir-crazy in the seat. One flight attendant stopped to chat, and violated Meh's cardinal rule by first saying she had no kids, and then offering parenting advice. But it was a theme we've heard repeated again and again -- make sure to appreciate this time period in Zachary's life, because children move out of it so quickly. Actually, that sounds like an ongoing theme all the way up to the child's high school (college?) graduation. We're definitely trying to make the most of every moment with him, but as with everything else about being a parent, I'm guessing we'll only really understand and appreciate the advice when it's, er, too late.

After the plane landed, multiple passengers complimented Zachary on being such a good, well-behaved baby. (I think they didn't want to jinx it during the flight!) Anyway, we're now in lovely Florida visiting Mima and Papa (I think it's already 70+ degrees, and it isn't even 7 in the morning!). This morning we're having brunch with uncles, aunts, and Zachary's great grandparents. Not sure what plans we'll have for the rest of the time, but it's nice to be back on the ground and enjoying time with family.

Tastes like chicken?

One of Zachary's favorite pieces of clothing (okay, fine, one of *our* favorite things for him to wear) is a pair of green overalls that comes with a cute fuzzy gopher tied to a string in the front pocket. Zachary likes to put anything in the vicinity of his face into his mouth. Needless to say, the gopher ends most days well-loved, and soaking wet.

(Photo courtesy of our good friend K, with whom I certainly agree when she says he'll make you smile)

Marsupial Boy

Though we already mentioned the joy that our Moby wrap has brought us, I just wanted to point out the absolute coziness that can be achieved with this device. When Zachary is ensconced in his cozy pouch, I like to call him Marsupial Boy, or Papoose Baby.



He's so smushy!!!

Daddy's scratchy face

At last, the page of Pat the Bunny that has sandpaper for daddy's face makes sense and applies to Zachary's dad. During the shiva period, mourners traditionally remain in the home, don't cut their hair or nails, don't shave, and observe a few other restrictions. After these first seven days, the shloshim (meaning "30", as in 30 days) period continues, where the mourner gradually resumes their daily activities -- but the hair/nail cutting and shaving restrictions continue, along with curtailing entertainment, live music, etc. This means that for the first time in my life, I've got the beginnings of a beard; I'd never even tried for a moustache previously.

I'm not sure if Zachary likes it; at one point I was holding him and he got startled (coincidentally?) after brushing his cheek against my face. In the past, he has liked to fall asleep against my face, so I'm not sure if the roughness will hinder that. I'm also not sure if I like it; pretty weird to lick your lips and feel something else right over/under them, and it's a bit itchy at times.

The First 100 Days

The shiva period for my dad concluded this morning according to our rabbi; as my family debated earlier in the week, the math was actually a bit fuzzy here, though I think I now sort of understand how 7 days of shiva translated into Sunday through Friday morning: the day of the funeral is the first day, that same evening begins the second day (the Jewish days begin at sunset), so Thursday night began the 6th 'day', and shiva isn't observed on Shabbat, so that ends shiva on Friday morning. Regardless, as I've said before, it was very comforting to have friends and family come together throughout the days, for evening services, and to share stories both new and old about my dad.

With United being totally inflexible about flight availability, I headed back to Seattle on a 6:50 am flight. The connection was through Chicago, where I walked past a funny new ad for Sony's digital book reader that talks about the devices being "sexier than a librarian". I personally beg to differ of course. But never fear, some librarians are already taking offense, leading to this response from Sony. I think they've already adjusted the campaign; I'm pretty sure the ad I saw had something like "comparison may vary with your librarian." *chuckle* The second leg was oddly on one of the giant 777's - weird to be on one for a domestic US flight, though I won't complain about the extra space and like twenty audio channels and such.

Today Zachary is 100 days old! He's noticeably more active than when I left two weeks ago (though I, and the rest of our family, gladly got to see some of his increasing cuteness when he came to Michigan), and is very responsive to our faces. He and I had some nice play time on tummy, back, and sitting up today. We've noticed he's now often happy and vocal for extensive periods; Meh made this recording while I was gone. Zachary is even (sometimes) starting to master the art of laughing without degenerating into hiccups, though not in this particular recording.

Shiva Cake

One of the traditions regarding a shiva house is that no food that enters the house can leave; I believe this is meant to encourage people to come and support and comfort the family. Couple that with another tradition of friends and distant family sending food, along with all of our friends and family having a generous desire to help feed and support the family, and you've got a recipe for a lot of food. Like, far more than can be possibly eaten. We've received kind gifts of every edible variety -- enormous trays of cookies, chocolates, honey cake, mandel bread, danishes, cupcakes, bagels, chicken, fish, mediterranean foods, soups, salads, entire sliced loaves of bread, and even fully catered meals served by kind family friends. Fruit baskets of every shape and size (including my first first-hand experiences with the tasty sculptured fruits of Edible Arrangements), crackers and cheese, and even a salami or two have completed the experience. Needless to say, even at our height of 10 family members in the house, we weren't really making a dent. We keep trying to encourage visitors to "help" us by enjoying the wide array of food; Jewish guilt doesn't really allow for even bereavement to get in the way of concern about potential food waste.

Strangely, the largest quanity of any one item has been a funnel/bundt cake. It's really quite tasty, but the frequency is a little astounding: through the various trays and platters, I believe we've received three full cakes plus a fourth one that was pre-cut into pieces as part of a cookie tray. (We're also convinced that some tasty muffins we enjoyed this morning may have used the same batter.) My brother and I have taken to calling this prolific dish "shiva cake"; my mom reports that apparently one of the major caterers in town makes a single type of 'cake' (does anybody else think cakes usually involve frosting?), which may explain why we've seen it so often. We've tried to brainstorm creative ways to serve it so people will eat it; the fully intact ones lurking in the fridge didn't even have a chance. On a related note: among the deserts, other than the shiva cake, every one I've seen (even among the variety trays) was unique, which is quite impressive.

Speaking of food, I found this hilarious -- Jones Soda, which I believe is Seattle-based, recently announced that they're once again doing holiday-themed flavored sodas. I'm not sure how nationwide they are, but these are the folks that, in addition to letting random people mail in pictures for their bottle labels, have offered turkey-flavored soda each Thanksgiving for the past few years. Some people apparently actually seek this stuff out as more than a novelty -- scary. Anyway, for the holiday season this year, they're offering Chanukah and Christmas-themed soda packs. I'm not sure which is more funny -- the Chanukah offerings (and dig the packaging with the 12 tribes on the side) that include Jelly Doughnut and Latke (!) flavors [and even a "dreidl inside!"], or that the Christmas pack's Ham flavor is kosher. Good stuff.


Laughter is good medicine for difficult times such as these, so we've also occasionally cracked jokes about potential products we could market using the knowledge we've gained in the last week. In particular, the major preparation for the house was to cover all of the mirrors -- and when all of the closet doors are mirrored, this leads to a lot of mirror covering, along with worries about taping to painted walls and such. We came up with two excellent ideas, neither of which ended up panning out at the time, but which B and I may look at marketing in the future:

1. Shiva Spray. That spray-on snow that gets used around Christmas time on windows seemed like a good way to handle this. Of course, even though the local stores are already blaring Christmas tunes and have all of their decorations out and ready for purchase, we were apparently a little too early for them to stock the spray-on stuff.


2. Shiva Curtains. Again, since the mirrors are on doors, attaching them directly meant that they were falling off every time we opened a closet. (The end solution was to use some 3M removable sticky tape and lots of sheets/pillowcases.)

We also joked a bit about the opportunity for "shiva crashers," particularly with all of that food, until we had a very touching visit from one yesterday. Two of B's close friends in NY have a network of friends/business relationships across the country -- yesterday they called one who lives near us, instructed her first to assemble a fruit basket, and then to print out and personally deliver a condolence message. She stayed for the evening service, which I've been leading and have each night concluded by asking everyone in attendance to introduce themselves and share a memory of my father. When it came to her, she thanked everyone there for introducing her to a very special man she might have never otherwise known.

Hear (O Israel)

While of course deeply saddening and upsetting, my dad's funeral provided an uplifting opportunity to see the wide impact he'd had on his loved ones and the larger area community. Family, friends, veterinary clients and staff, staff and family from his incredible care facility, people from hospice, and many others attended, and we were so thankful to see so many come out in memory of my dad and in support of our family and each other.

For those who were unable to attend, the funeral chapel generously recorded the service (impressively quickly generating 2 CDs and a cassette in time to join a package containing other pertinent shiva/yahrtzeit information, all as we left for the procession to the cemetery), and is now offering it online here. (Oddly, the link doesn't work from my laptop, though this link does.) The rabbi provided a nice amalgamation of my dad's character from a discussion he had with us a few days earlier, and my brother's and mom's words were extremely moving and heartfelt. Many people who spoke with us afterwards, as well as in the next few days at our home, said that they felt the service had very effectively conveyed the nature of the man, his character, and his many gifts.

Sitting shiva has given us a good opportunity to reminisce and remember the man that my father was, as well as hear stories that had been long forgotten or never known to me. Meh and my brother's fiancee both got to learn a bit more about the man they didn't get an opportunity to know. It's also been a good opportunity to dust off old photo albums and recall more about our family and friends through 'history', with the dated 80s/90s-ness of our bar mitzvah albums (a few pictures might be good candidates if they ever publish a sequel to this great book I've got at home) joining with some truly 70s lapels and hairdos in our parents' wedding album.

We'd like to thank everyone who has been able to visit us at the shiva house (I've re-edited the directions in the previous post to correct for yet another unanticipated road named Commerce), and especially those who travelled great distances to be there with us. Also, a very heartfelt thank you to all of those who have sent these tremendous food trays (the hallmark of all Jewish occasions, whether sad or happy), desserts, fruits, flowers, cards, and other forms of condolence and support. The evening services have been a nice chance to assembly with family and friends, and the stories we've told and heard have continued to reinforce and expand our knowledge of my kind, compassionate, and loving father.

Veterinary signs

A local veterinarian, who had worked closely with my dad at her own practice when he retired (and even brought him to schools to talk to kids about animals and pets), heard the news and put these messages up on her office's street sign.

El milagro del ratón

(That's "The miracle of the mouse." It just sounds more dramatic in Spanish.)

To brighten the mood just a little bit, I wanted to tell of a family experience my mom's been sharing with friends. She and my dad received a wall-hung clock many years ago at one of my dad's veterinary conferences. The primary part of the clock is in the shape of a cat, and the pendulum at the bottom of the clock is a moving mouse that the cat is preparing to pounce on. The pendulum stopped swinging many years ago; the clock continued to function fine through multiple battery changes, just with a stationary mouse pendulum - my mom had even tried manually pushing it started, to no avail. Last night when we heard the news and were sitting in the kitchen, my mom looked up and noticed that the pendulum had, after many years, gone back into motion again. It's still functioning fine today. Whether this is a coincidence or some small sign in the form of a moving mouse-shaped piece of plastic is left to the individual to interpret.

Many family friends and veterinary clients have left heartfelt notes and shared stories of their experiences with and love of my dad via the chapel's website, which get e-mailed to my mom. Every story we read paints a fuller picture of this incredible man's life and his impact on those around him. Thank you again to everyone for their kind words, love, and support.

At peace

The last few days have been extraordinarily difficult for our entire family (both those at home in Michigan and on the two coasts), filled with sadness, planning, and making some of the most difficult decisions our family has ever faced. We visited multiple cemeteries and funeral homes; spoke with counselors, nurses, social workers, rabbis, and chaplains; sat with Dad while we told stories, laughed, and cried, both together and individually. Most of the initial preparations were finally completed by yesterday evening, and we all wished Dad good night, perhaps for the last time, before heading home.

Early this morning, we received the phone call that my father had passed away during the night. The three of us sat around the dining room table at 3 in the morning and told more stories about Dad, and how we knew his long and difficult journey was now over, and how he was now at peace.

Again, thank you so much to all of our friends, who have continued to support and console us in our grief. Here's the information we saw printed out just a few hours ago, displayed so officially for newspaper obituary submission:

• The funeral service for Stephen S. Selfon, DVM, will be held on Sunday, November 11, at 2 pm, at The Dorfman Chapel in Farmington Hills, Michigan.
  
• Following the burial, we will be sitting shiva (the traditional 7-day Jewish mourning period, where the family remains in the home, and friends of my dad can come and be with us) beginning immediately afterwards at our home, and continuing for the rest of the week (ending on Friday morning; the observation of Shabbat preempts shiva, and that would be the seventh day, reckoning by the Jewish calendar). Evening services will be at around 7 pm, or people can visit any time before that. [Directions and construction notes at the bottom of this post.]
  
• For those who would like to send messages to my mom and the rest of our family, you can of course post on this blog, on the chapel's website, or more formally send notes to our home:
  
  
  
  
• If anyone would like to make a donation in my father's memory, the suggested options are the Alzheimer's Association (our family's local chapter is the Metro Detroit one); the Michigan State College of Veterinary Medicine; or the charity of your choice.

Once again, thanks to all of our friends for their continuing support and love at this exceptionally sad and difficult time.

To Our House:
As I learned when my parents first moved to White Lake, street grids unfortunately don't work very well when there are ridiculous numbers of randomly placed lakes. Now throw in an illogical insistence on naming every street (even those perpendicular to each other) "Commerce," and a few giant construction projects blocking off roads around our house, and we've got a recipe for good times.

There is a season

As some of you know, I have been away from Meh and Zachary since late Thursday night, flying to Michigan to be with family as my dad's condition degrades. It has been impossibly difficult in so many ways -- seeing and being with my dad in this clearly terminal state, my brother and I trying to help my mom make final arrangements, and being away from my wife and son for an extended period.

We've watched with happiness and joy as Zachary continues to grow and develop, gaining new skills and understanding, reaching new milestones, and looking at the world with increasing wonder. Unfortunately, as a harsh and cruel antithesis, I've also watched my father's -- Zachary's grandfather's -- continuing deterioration, with increasing debilities and skill restrictions. These next few blog entries will by no means be intended as precursors to a eulogy or anything like that; the disease that is claiming my father does not and should not define who he was in life.

It seems an incredibly long time ago (and yet in some ways, like it was yesterday) that my mom noticed subtle and then significant behavioral changes, and that my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease -- nearly ten years ago, at the impossibly and infuriatingly early age of 48. Even now, he remains the youngest resident at his care facility (and doubly depressingly, many of the elder residents were more lucid than him, even when he was first admitted). My mom had cared untiringly and amazingly for him at home for an extended period as his facilities gradually faded, but he eventually required more professional care in a facility that has featured incredibly kind, caring, and respectful staff. I continued to visit when I could, though I feel not nearly frequently enough; on each visit, something more had been taken away -- recognition, motor skills, speech, walking. My mom's strength at dealing with the insufferable situation continued to amaze me.

One bright light as the disease has progressed is our family's friends, who have all been incredibly supportive, kind, generous, and have themselves shared in the grief of slowly losing my dad. My parents' neighbors have done everything from household chores, home improvements, and errands, to watching and caring for Gus. Our family friends actively include my mom in their activities, visit and interact with my dad, and have done everything in their power to continue to buoy up my mom, brother, and myself. And my brother, my dad's sister, and my bubbie have come to visit my mom and dad on multiple occasions as well. There have also been various attempts to put our feelings to paper; my brother wrote an incredible essay (that unfortunately has not yet been published), and I wrote my musical composition. And perhaps most significantly, Zachary got to meet his grandfather when we came to town for his pidyon ha-ben, even if neither of them may have had much understanding or perception of the event.

A little over a month ago, the disease's latest turn left him mostly immobile and first wheelchair-bound, then bed-ridden. This past week, his ability to consistently swallow disappeared. At least he does seem to be at peace, and he is surrounded by those who love and care for him (both family and many friends have visited as well).

Which brings us to the simply surreal logistics of planning for what comes next -- discussions with cemeteries, funeral homes, etc. I still need to process these a bit, but I can at least report that so much of the "built-in" process for Jewish end of life traditions is focused on caring for the living, the family left behind. Even with the incredible support structure we have both here and in the cities where our family extends to, it's comforting to know that there's an extended procured period for processing and coming to grips with the reality of a relative's passing.

Sorry to write such a downer blog entry, but many friends had been asking and wanting to know what was happening. If you feel a need to take some kind of action immediately, there's no more appropriate time; it's curently Alzheimer's Awareness Month, and you can donate on the Alzheimer's Association website. Beyond that, thank you so much to all of our friends for looking in on Meh and Zachary, and for your thoughts and well wishes at this difficult time.

The Princess and the Pea

Yesterday was of course Halloween, and thus Zachary's first costume opportunity (not counting his countless cute outfits, or the Pumpkin Push race this past weekend). Meh and Zachary swung by my office in the afternoon, where Microsoft (or more specifically, my building's amazing admins) had put together a massive family-friendly party, complete with a pumpkin-carving contest that demonstrated my coworkers are as good at sculpture as programming games (scary thought), cupcakes, arts and crafts, and a fully decked out lobby (corn stalks, haunted mirrors, etc.) Of course kids were racing up and down the halls grabbing giant troves of candy that coworkers either handed out or just placed outside of their offices. I really think office trick-or-treating is the most optimal way to get the most candy in the least distance and time (and while avoiding any problematic weather to boot). Apparently our executives' building is the best of all, with full size candy bars as far as the eye can see. Still, considering the amount of candy that Zachary will actually be eating this year, I think the more minimal candy sizes are quite acceptable.

The office was strangely warm, so he didn't last in his costume all that long, but here he is, in a very cute pea-in-a-pod suit. Mommy was a princess (hm, see a theme from the Pumpkin Push?), and the two were very cute together. (Incidentally, we ran into some coworkers whose daughter was in the same pea-in-a-pod outfit, but mommy as an accessory certainly helped out our cause.) We didn't get a picture of me in my 'costume', which was an abstract audio thing (Dolby sweatshirt, multiple headphones and headsets, cables tangled around my arms, CDs hanging from a 'chain' of speaker cable around my neck, etc.). Don't worry, nobody's missing much here -- a few coworkers joked that it looked like I'd just fallen into a pile of audio cables. I guess next year I'll have to return to more traditional costume-wear.

Once we got home, I gave Zachary baffy time while Meh got the house prepped and started passing out candy to the visiting trick-or-treaters. I also walked Korby, and got to see how several neighbors went all out (there was a tunnel/cave leading to one neighbor's house, and a scary amount of fake cobwebs in front of another neighbor's house) decorating for the occasion. We ended up having a fair number of trick-or-treaters at home in the evening; Korby was of course keeping a close eye on the candy and made a few plays for our pumpkins in the front yard when I opened the door too far.

Mini Microsoft

(For those not familiar, the actual Mini Microsoft [hosted right here on BlogSpot] is a blog by a 'secret' MS employee that cuts through the business-speak and presents an employee's comments on internal/external perspectives of our company. Granted, my attempts at humor in entry titles is pretty much dead on arrival when it's a pun that I have to explain. Ah well.)

Zachary received a colorful surprise package in the mail late last week (though strangely, the accompanying note was actually post-dated for today?). We opened it up to discover a wealth of small gifts welcoming him to "Microsoft's growing family" -- a Dr. Seuss "red fish, blue fish" bib (with the Microsoft logo at the bottom), a solid white onesie (with the Microsoft logo at the top), and a host of branding-free objects as well: a nice brushed metal picture frame that we can engrave his birthday information on, a Taggies rattle (with lots of tags on the sides and a reflective front that makes even funhouse mirrors look tame), a small rubber ducky from Microsoft's credit union, and even a super-cozy Nanny and Webster blanket (branding free, and all proceeds go to support children's charities).

It's really nice that my company's benefits department puts together this little care package on top of all of the other family assistance they provide. The rattle is already getting some good use - Zachary occasionally grasps it, and today Meh was tickling his face with the tags, generating a great series of laughs and giggles that I got to share on the phone. He's got the best laugh! Here's a new recording from the weekend, where he really thought what I was saying (or my expression? or perhaps just my face?) was the funniest thing in the world.

Slimy and Tasty

We finally got our pumpkins carved yesterday, we decided that a family portrait would be appropriate.

No, that's not a tongue protruding from Mommy pumpkin's mouth. That would be the "slimy" part of this post. It's a large slug.

I hate slugs. I have often said that I really don't see what purpose they serve in nature, besides being disgusting and eating whatever I plant in the garden. Okay, I suppose they provide food for some birds and snakes and stuff. I do like birds and snakes.

I was inspired to make Halloween cupcakes after reading M and K's latest blog entry. However, I have been doing entirely too much baking lately, so I chose a recipe from my Small Batch Baking book, which makes only 4 chocolate cupcakes. Now, this book is not to be confused with the Easy Bake Oven Gourmet, which has recipes for pint-sized desserts made in the aforementioned tiny oven. The cupcakes were a bit dry, though the peanut butter frosting was creamy and delicious! The sprinkles are tiny orange balls and black cats.

Zachary was determined to undermine my cupcakes today by insisting on being held most of the time. Here is His Crankiness in a cute, soon-to-be-too-small outfit.

I guess I shouldn't complain, since Zachary has slept through the night for 3 nights in a row!!! That's 7, 8, and 10.5 hours. We are dumbfounded, since we did nothing differently, but grateful for our first uninterrupted stretches of sleep since August.